I have found a new doctor who is just wonderful. I long ago got into the habit of seeing women for my healthcare. This might have had something to do with the male psychologist I saw at the age of 14. He spoke in a strange manner, his voice increasing in volume as he got the words out, and he ended each sentence not with a period or a question mark but rather a spray of spit. He also liked to ask of every single person I mentioned, even family members, “And have you had sexual intercourse with him?”

It got to the point where I would start talking about someone and I would preface their introduction into our session with, “and no, I haven’t slept with her.’

Anyway, this new doctor is great. I thought he was going to bat an eye when I listed all of the different antidepressants I’ve been on over the years but instead he asked me which ones I like best. He decided that in addition to the Prozac he is starting me on he wants me to start taking klonopin everyday, twice a day, whether I have a panic attack or not. I actually feel a bit optimistic about this treatment. I can’t say that I am feeling better already because of the pills. I think I am feeling something I haven’t experienced in a long time. Hope.