I must stop my rambling trips down memory lane for a moment to announce my biggest accomplishments of the week. I took three different trips on the bus and didn’t have a panic attack on any of them! Why is this a big deal? Because I always panic on the bus and I had gotten so bad that I was avoiding riding the bus almost completely. This will not work in the fall when I need to take my daughter to school.
Maybe I am back on the road to being able to just ride the bus whenever I need to. I sure as hell hope so. I hate having to call my Mom when I can’t stop panicking and ask her for a ride, or just hiding in the house. I long to feel capable, self sufficient.

My husband got us each a cell phone a few months ago. He told me that if I wanted to get a game to put on the cell phone he would pay for it, just to choose one that didn’t suck up minutes. I looked around at what was available; not really thinking too much was going to come out of it, because video games have never been my thing. I found a game called Collapse. I played it online and liked it. I mean it’s not so complicated that it is going to take a whole lot of thought but it does hold my interest. Without even intending it to be, it ended up being a godsend for my panic ridden bus rides. I just turn off the sound and play my silly game of colored blocks until it’s time to get off. Also, my sister loaned me a book: Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides and I am enjoying it very much. I got a lot of reading done on the bus yesterday, and I feel good about that. Because with two kids I often don’t have the time to read that I desire.

All in all, I am feeling pretty good.