2 and a 1/2 hours to get Nathan out of bed for school this morning. Any of you who are dealing or have dealt with kids who won’t get out of bed to go to school; my heart goes out to you. Not knowing exactly what to do is not helping. I was looking online at this website and I read this in the advice for family members caring for someone with a mood disorder “Don’t take your loved one’s actions or hurtful words personally.”
Okay. I obviously am struggling with that one. Is my son inside of this disease somewhere or is the disease inside of him? Where does one end and the other begin? At what point is he responsible for his behavior? I took him to his psychiatrist last Friday and after I gave him the run down on what had been going on he said, “Why are you punishing him for being bipolar?” I was stunned. So he’s allowed to scream and yell obscenities at me when he doesn’t get his way, threaten me physically, refuse to do what is asked of him, refuse to do what his teachers ask of him and I am supposed to let him play video games all day and talk on the phone all night? I don’t fucking think so. There has to be some sort of personal accountability here, even with an illness. Honestly, I am thinking of looking for another doctor. Every time we go in there I feel like it’s “You’ve got a very sick boy here and you’re doing the wrong things in response to X Y & Z. Here are some more pills to try. See you in two weeks.” Just when I thought things were looking up, BAM, setback.
Anyway, and now for something completely different, I finished the book I was reading, “ Leaving Las Vegas” last night. I saw the movie years ago but had never read the book. I highly recommend it. The movie mostly focuses on the relationship between Ben and Sera. The book goes into greater detail about them and their lives and the paths they have been on long before the characters meet. When I got to the end and read that the author had died in 1994 I got up and did an internet search on him. John O’Brien committed suicide two weeks after he found out his book was to be made into a movie.
I put my head down on the desk and wept. I am not even sure what I was crying about. Maybe I just needed the release.
Comment by someone like you
October 2, 2006 @ 11:31 am
We never know when something we read, smell, think, hear, or see will make a connection with us deep inside and bring up those tumultuous emotions. There is a lot hidden in the sub-concious.
I’m no doctor, but I agree that a child must remain respectful regardless of what illness or disease he/she may have. Certain behaviors demand certain consequences, if not, how will they ever learn to distinguish between right and wrong?
I empathize with your situation and know it cannot be easy to know the right thing to do. I hope you are in a support group with other parents who have similar situations. I would think that would be very helpful.
Keep your chin up Tammy.
Comment by cazzy
October 2, 2006 @ 1:29 pm
There is a light at the end of the tunnel - but where is the tunnel?
OK, I’m convinced that all kinds of work is being done to heal this illness. Electrodes ( Canada ) last night on 60 minutes; they are making great strides in every way. Just you wait.
SOMEONE LIKE YOU said it; Chin up. Is that chin up?
p.s. We ALL like you.
Comment by admin
October 3, 2006 @ 11:12 am
Thanks ladies. My chin’s up today, I swear. I am going to try to breathe a good day into life.
Thanks for being here, and for your comments.