I’ve been feeling like such a pile of shit lately that I kept thinking that I would spare y’all and wait until I felt better before I posted again but, hahaha, yeah right. I’ll bet if I had the energy to go back and look through my archives I would see a pattern to these “I can’t go on a single minute” depressions but energy doesn’t come with my depression and if I ever get manic I’ll use the energy to scrub the bathtub or something.

Saturday I took Polly to spend the night at a friend’s house because she was driving me crazy with the “play with me” and “watch a movie with me” and no matter what I did with her she was still walking around bored, complaining of boredom. So when a friend called and asked her to spend the night I jumped at the chance even if it was the day before Easter. We took the bus over there. It’s not a good neighborhood, and not one that I am very familiar with either, and so after we got off the bus I promptly got us lost trying to find this girl’s house. Her house was on 59th and I could find 62nd, 60th, 57th etc. but no 59th. We walked around forever until I finally asked Polly to call the girl on my cell phone and ask her where she lived exactly. The girl didn’t know how to give directions and we ended up finding the house by chance. Chance meaning that Polly happened to turn her head and see this girl on her bike in front of her house. I waited for 50 minutes at the bus stop to get on the bus home. I was not in a very good mood when I got back but I kissed Alex goodbye and curled into bed to watch Infamous, which wasn’t as good as I’d hoped.

Sunday when Polly got home it was all about eggs! and Candy! and the Easter Bunny! until her brother made fun of her for wanting to dye eggs and I reminded him that he had dyed eggs with me last year, at 14! He went off to his room after murmuring something about not liking it when he did it last year.

Monday night Polly threw up, which is a fun way to wake up at 1 a.m. I kept her home from school Tuesday and she seems to be better now. A virus or too much chocolate? We may never know.

Nathan is doing well in school except for the fact that we got a phone call yesterday stating that he had used the word “boozy” or is it “boozie” ? in school and if he did it again they were going to give him a urinalysis.  His father and I exchanged what the fuck looks and thanked them for calling.

I have been considering calling my doctor and asking her to tweak my meds. She can’t up them because I am on the maximum dose of Effexor and I really don’t want to deal with it right now because crawling onto the couch and taking a little nap works wonders. For a little while.

My washing machine keeps going off balance and it is driving me crazy because every time I go down into the basement to throw a load into the dryer I see that the washer has stopped mid cycle. I end up standing in front of the machine redistributing the load over and over to get it to finish the spin cycle. It’s like giving a hand job to an impotent man.