As I mentioned in my last entry, I watched The Pursuit of Happyness this weekend. Personally, I really liked it. Skip this paragraph if you haven’t seen it. I don’t want to spoil it for anyone. Anyway, that will to go on in the face of great adversity, I can relate to that. The intense love for your chil(ren), hell, they’re the only thing that keeps me going most of the time. It occurred to me while I was watching it that a great many people face challenges in life like the main character did, but it’s not often we hear their story unless they make it big or die in some bizarre way.

My 22 year old nephew has a new job working as a bartender. I hadn’t seen him in ages so Sunday night I went down to see him. I thought that I knew where he worked as he had told me the street name and number. I walked into this smoky, dark dive bar half filled with 20 something year old hipsters who all seemed to have coordinated their outfits beforehand. I felt like an idiot but I sat down and ordered a gin and tonic. When the women handed me my drink I asked her if Daniel was working. “There’s no Daniel working here.”

My first thought was that my nephew had lied to me about having a job. I am a bad aunt. Then she added, “But there’s another bar next door, you might try there.” Another bar. I hadn’t noticed it. I finished my drink and walked back out into the sunlight blinking wildly after sitting in the dark. I peeked into the window next door and saw my nephew behind the bar. My heart leapt; I was so happy to see him.

I must’ve looked like I was crying because my eyes were all watery from the smoke filled bar. He walked over and gave me a hug and introduced me to all of his coworkers. “This is my Aunt Tammy!” Most of them didn’t believe him because I was only 12 when he was born but whatever. It felt good to have someone happy to see me and not embarrassed to introduce me. My kids are at that age where they would rather not have me around when they are acting oh so cool in front of their friends.

I sat at the bar and had a beer and we talked and talked. The place wasn’t very busy. It was good to catch up with him. He was telling me about college and his girlfriend and the music he’s been listening to. We talked about politics, the war, whether or not we feel gay marriage should be legal, all sorts of things. Usually when I see him it’s with a large group of family members so it was nice to have him all to myself. When I got up to leave I tried to pay but he wanted to buy the beer for me so I just over tipped him when he wasn’t looking. He has been a part of my life for so long. It has been such a joy watching him grow up and I feel so proud of his accomplishments. I am not supposed to have favorite nieces or nephews but the bond I have with him is different, stronger.

For the past two days I have been working in our garden pulling weeds and planting seeds. I have never been big on seeds. I am an instant gratification kind of person and I am not very patient when it comes to waiting. Usually what happens when I plant seeds is I water them daily to encourage them to sprout. I do this for a period of time until I decide that they won’t sprout and then I give up. Soon after that they do sprout and I am always surprised. I hope that they’ll sprout, but I don’t really think they will. And that, I think, is the difference between hope and faith. Hope I have. Faith, nada.