Comments on: APATHY http://www.livedtotell.com/2007/05/10/apathy/ 35 year old mother of two trying to live with panic disorder and depression without losing her sense of humor. Tue, 20 Jul 2010 05:29:55 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Tammy http://www.livedtotell.com/2007/05/10/apathy/#comment-3981 Tammy Thu, 17 May 2007 03:52:35 +0000 http://www.livedtotell.com/2007/05/10/apathy/#comment-3981 Thanks Karen. Life is hard work, isn't it? I meant to clarify that if AA or NA works for people then I think that's wonderful. I tried it and it didn't work for me. I've never considered myself particularly inspiring but the truth is I was once really very sick with my addiction and I managed to get out of it. If I can help even one person it would make me very happy indeed. Tammy Thanks Karen. Life is hard work, isn’t it? I meant to clarify that if AA or NA works for people then I think that’s wonderful. I tried it and it didn’t work for me.
I’ve never considered myself particularly inspiring but the truth is I was once really very sick with my addiction and I managed to get out of it. If I can help even one person it would make me very happy indeed.
Tammy

]]> By: Karen http://www.livedtotell.com/2007/05/10/apathy/#comment-3980 Karen Wed, 16 May 2007 21:55:06 +0000 http://www.livedtotell.com/2007/05/10/apathy/#comment-3980 This is really moving. I think you deserve the credit for turning your life around too. Life is hard work. I think you're inspiring. This is really moving. I think you deserve the credit for turning your life around too. Life is hard work. I think you’re inspiring.

]]> By: Tammy http://www.livedtotell.com/2007/05/10/apathy/#comment-3976 Tammy Sat, 12 May 2007 00:37:56 +0000 http://www.livedtotell.com/2007/05/10/apathy/#comment-3976 JustMe, Thank you for your comments. It breaks my heart to read what you're going through with your son. If you have read through my archives a bit you will see that my husband and I are also facing difficulties with our son. It is the most painful experience in the world and it is isolating in so many ways. We want to help him; we keep on trying. I refuse to give up on him even if he gives up on himself. It was actually easier when I was going through my own personal battles than it is watching our son do the same. My only advice to you would be to keep trying, to never give up hope, and don't be afraid to seek help outside the family. Whether it is a support group, a therapist or Alanon, don't try to go it alone. I would never recommend that anyone take the road that I took to get off drugs and alcohol. I was sitting on a bus bench, my period was late and I was certain that I was pregnant. I stopped smoking and drinking at that point. Fortunately I had kicked the hard drugs a couple of years earlier. I ended up living for my children, which is dangerous as they age and hopefully move on with their lives and into a space in their lives when they won't need me in the same way. I have had relapses and times when I was sure that the only alternative was suicide. I have to remember that it's not that I don't want to live; it's the pain I want to stop. I take things one day at a time. Sometimes when that is too much I take things one minute at a time. There are two phrases that I use as mantras when I can't seem to relax or when things get so rough that I don't think that I can go on a minute longer. The first is, "This too shall pass" and the second is "Don't stop five minutes before the miracle." My goal in starting this journal, besides the obvious personal catharsis, was to reach out to others who are suffering and lend a hand if I can. If I can do that then what I went through and continue to battle with will not have been in vain. Best Wishes, Tammy JustMe,
Thank you for your comments. It breaks my heart to read what you’re going through with your son. If you have read through my archives a bit you will see that my husband and I are also facing difficulties with our son. It is the most painful experience in the world and it is isolating in so many ways. We want to help him; we keep on trying. I refuse to give up on him even if he gives up on himself.
It was actually easier when I was going through my own personal battles than it is watching our son do the same.
My only advice to you would be to keep trying, to never give up hope, and don’t be afraid to seek help outside the family. Whether it is a support group, a therapist or Alanon, don’t try to go it alone.
I would never recommend that anyone take the road that I took to get off drugs and alcohol. I was sitting on a bus bench, my period was late and I was certain that I was pregnant. I stopped smoking and drinking at that point. Fortunately I had kicked the hard drugs a couple of years earlier. I ended up living for my children, which is dangerous as they age and hopefully move on with their lives and into a space in their lives when they won’t need me in the same way.
I have had relapses and times when I was sure that
the only alternative was suicide. I have to remember that it’s not that I don’t want to live; it’s the pain I want to stop. I take things one day at a time. Sometimes when that is too much I take things one minute at a time.
There are two phrases that I use as mantras when I can’t seem to relax or when things get so rough that I don’t think that I can go on a minute longer.
The first is, “This too shall pass” and the second is “Don’t stop five minutes before the miracle.”
My goal in starting this journal, besides the obvious personal catharsis, was to reach out to others who are suffering and lend a hand if I can. If I can do that then what I went through and continue to battle with will not have been in vain.
Best Wishes,
Tammy

]]> By: Tammy http://www.livedtotell.com/2007/05/10/apathy/#comment-3975 Tammy Sat, 12 May 2007 00:21:42 +0000 http://www.livedtotell.com/2007/05/10/apathy/#comment-3975 Dear Leonardo, As always it is so nice to have you here; to hear your thoughts on things. You are a gift. Tammy Dear Leonardo,
As always it is so nice to have you here; to hear your thoughts on things. You are a gift.
Tammy

]]> By: JustMe http://www.livedtotell.com/2007/05/10/apathy/#comment-3974 JustMe Fri, 11 May 2007 13:00:17 +0000 http://www.livedtotell.com/2007/05/10/apathy/#comment-3974 Two years ago I would never have understood what you writing, but now? OMG. We are dealing with an adult son who is so sick right now that we are at our wit's end. How do you help someone when they don't want to be helped? Or, maybe want to be helped but cannot be helped? We don't know where to go or what to do and he is ruining his life and it is heartbreaking. This was a person who was the best, the brightest, the most wonderful child ever...and now this. How it got to this point is beyond our comprehension. It's our big secret, knowing the hell we are all in right now. I keep hoping with desperation that someday he will have a revelation or power or whatever the hell you had to get help and begin the process of becoming whole before he becomes that person on the bus. You are proof that it is possible! Two years ago I would never have understood what you writing, but now? OMG. We are dealing with an adult son who is so sick right now that we are at our wit’s end. How do you help someone when they don’t want to be helped? Or, maybe want to be helped but cannot be helped? We don’t know where to go or what to do and he is ruining his life and it is heartbreaking. This was a person who was the best, the brightest, the most wonderful child ever…and now this. How it got to this point is beyond our comprehension. It’s our big secret, knowing the hell we are all in right now.

I keep hoping with desperation that someday he will have a revelation or power or whatever the hell you had to get help and begin the process of becoming whole before he becomes that person on the bus. You are proof that it is possible!

]]> By: leonardo http://www.livedtotell.com/2007/05/10/apathy/#comment-3973 leonardo Fri, 11 May 2007 09:42:48 +0000 http://www.livedtotell.com/2007/05/10/apathy/#comment-3973 That was powerful, and a good reminder of how much we are simultaneously "like" and "unlike" others whose paths we intersect, even strangers. Noticing others will help us recognize where we've been, where we might have gone, how much we've accomplished and what direction we want to go. Knowing ourselves will help us define that direction and the best road to travel there. So, in that way, we have to be lonely, but still we have to be part of the crowd. And we try to absorb the best out of that mix. Thanks. That was powerful, and a good reminder of how much we are simultaneously “like” and “unlike” others whose paths we intersect, even strangers. Noticing others will help us recognize where we’ve been, where we might have gone, how much we’ve accomplished and what direction we want to go. Knowing ourselves will help us define that direction and the best road to travel there. So, in that way, we have to be lonely, but still we have to be part of the crowd. And we try to absorb the best out of that mix. Thanks.

]]>