Do I remember someone saying that talking about your dreams is one of the lowest forms of communication? I am going to do it anyway.

Last night my dream was the following. I was at a strip club with my all time favorite writer, Charles Bukowski. Instead of it being like a regular strip club, (well I’ve only been to one in my life and that was under horrific circumstances, but that is a story for another day perhaps), it was like an old theater with a stage and then the rows of seats. I was seated beside Buk, but leaning over, practically in his lap. I was rubbing up against him and he was telling me about the awesome food they had there as we watched the women dance.

When his plate came it had this huge juicy steak on it with a pile of vegetables on the side. The few of you who “know me” might remember that I am a vegetarian; I have been for twenty years. Although many have assumed that I do it for health reasons, like for the same reasons I smoke Camels, or because I care about animals; I swear to God anyone who has spent anytime hanging out with chickens or sheep will realize that anyone who eats them is probably doing the world a favor; the truth is I can’t stand the thought of eating dead animals. (Damn that was a long, poorly written sentence. I’m not changing it.) It just sickens me. Eating animals. Not writing crappy sentences, obviously.

So in the dream my mouth is watering and I wanted that steak so badly that I finally couldn’t stand it so I ordered one, rare. I drowned it in steak sauce, ate it quickly, and ordered another one. Bukowski told me that if I promised to have sex with him daily until he died he would give me 2000 dollars per month, buy me a strip club and let me manage it. I quickly agreed. I like that idea. I would train my dancers in the old style burlesque dancing, which was really so much sexier anyway. I would pass out free condoms at the door. I could hand out copies of the book “She Comes First”, and make sure the men took their drunken asses home to their wives in a cab instead of driving. I would go out of business in a week.

When I awoke this morning I was very hungry and I felt sort of strange about the dream. I don’t think I’ve ever craved meat in such a way. Maybe what I’m craving is A-1?

Did this entry have a point? Not really, huh? I am frazzled today. I have this notebook where I jot down ideas for journal entries. If my shrink got a hold of it he would probably change his diagnosis and up all the meds. I’ll have to start referring to it for ideas. Some ideas on the list: Rubik’s cube, Licking Spoons, Destined For Greatness, Breakfast of Champions $1.99 special, A Mom, an Aunt and some Q-Tips, Laughter at the Most Inopportune Moments, I have Better Hair Than You, You Ice Cream Cone Licking Bitch. See what I mean? Looks crazy, but every one of those sparks my memory and I could write an entry based upon my scrawling. If I don’t write it down soon after I think about it it is usually gone.

I found a book to read now that I’ve finished “The Names of the Dead”, which I recommend by the way. The descriptions of the war in Vietnam were very graphic and might be troubling to just about anybody, but it was a good read. The new book I am reading is “Sophie’s Choice”. Look at me with the feel good material! It’s on my mental list of books I feel as if I should have read by now, but I haven’t. When I was younger I used to lie when confronted about such books. Someone would mention Pride and Prejudice or something else that supposedly everyone has read,and I would lie, nodding my head as if I’d read it. Then I did read it and I thought blech, what was everyone raving about? That’s not the point though. Now I don’t feel as if I have to lie. I have never completed an Ayn Rand novel. See, try it. It feels so freeing. It’s the same with music. As a teen and a young adult I would cover up my true taste in music. Now I can admit that not only do I have some Fleetwood Mac songs on my IPod; I have some Bee Gees on there as well.

What secrets are you hiding in your music collection? Do you pretend that you finished War and Peace? Do tell.