I finished Polly’s room. Of course I wasn’t done when she came back from the beach, despite having stayed up until 4 a.m. to paint, and she cried when she walked through the door. I underestimated the length of time it would take me to do the room. Just the spackling alone took hours. She went a little crazy in there with the staple gun, and the thumb tacks, and the good old fashioned hammer and nails. It looks so much nicer now. I even bought her new carpet, as hers had met its match in a red kool-aid spill. She seemed to have fun decorating once it was time for her to move back in, and we were all glad to get her things out of the living room. She is a little pack rat.
Last night, after my kids recommended it to me, I watched Freedom Writers. I didn’t expect to like it, even though I definitely liked Hilary Swank in Boys Don’t Cry and Million Dollar Baby. It was pretty much exactly what I expected it to be, not too horrible, not too good. It did however open up the lines of communication regarding race issues with my kids. I thought the depiction of the separation between the teens of different races was a bit extreme. After telling my kids what I’d thought, Polly stated that I was right; the kids in her junior high school were not divided by race. Nathan assured me that at the first school that he attended last year it was exactly as it had been in the movie, all of the kids divided up according to ethnicity; White, Black, Latino, and Asian.
My husband happens to be half Hispanic. It hasn’t been something that we’ve given much thought, to be honest. When we first moved in together he asked why I didn’t buy tortillas, beans, salsa and hot sauce and so I bought all of those things and he was happy. Maybe he is only Mexican at dinner time. When we had children Nathan came out dark like his father, and much to our surprise Polly is fair skinned and blond, like me. I have had numerous people ask me if my children have different fathers. Nathan went through a bit of an identity crisis in high school, unsure of which group he fit into. He ended up with the Latino kids. He once told me in anger that he wished his dad had married a Mexican woman. I was both amazed and confused. I had hoped that we had as a society had gone beyond voluntary segregation. I underestimated the need for my son to fit in, to feel as if he had a proper place within a group.
When I was growing up I felt more of a division in the schools based on socioeconomic status. Of course I went to private schools and what I was experiencing might have been based on my own struggle to pretend that I didn’t care that I had old, hand me down underwear and ill fitting shoes. I struggled to be “cool”. I tried very hard to pretend that I didn’t care. I am learning that the struggles my son faces are different than anything I have ever been through. Even his father is a bit baffled, as he never gave any thought to the fact that he had friends of many different races in high school. He didn’t feel the pressure to chose between Hispanic and white and stay within the confines of a group. I sincerely hope that in time Nathan feels at home within himself, and the world.
Comment by Belle
July 8, 2007 @ 2:36 pm
Very thoughtful post today. I went to an all white school, all white church, and never met one person of a different race until I went to college. Well, really didn’t meet one there, either, because it was 95% white, too. (This was back in the late 60s and early 70s.) The only thing I was aware of were the socioeconomic issues you mentioned. It took until I was 21 years old and working before I met a black or a Hispanic. Geesh. I must say I never had any biases because I didn’t grow up with any, as weird as that might sound.
There are, and will always be, people who feel they must put other people into a box based on color, religion, intelligence or athletic ability. Makes me sad and angry that all those things we fought for back in the 60s and 70s still need to be addressed, and on a daily basis. It’s a constant struggle. I hope Nathan finds his “niche” soon, whatever it may be. (And, no…I would never want to be in high school again, thanks very much!
)
Comment by Jean
July 9, 2007 @ 6:17 am
Hey you! You are quite the ambitious girl! I’m sure the room looks great!
Isn’t it funny (not funny ha-ha, more sad funny) how people of all ages, once they are exposed to the world at large look to find ways to group themselves, which automatically means they are excluding others?
If we were all (insert your favorite skin color here), we’d use shoe size or eye color or some other equally shallow reason to segregate.
It sucks. And tell Nathan that not having fair skin ROCKS.
Hope all is well with you! I fixed the first of the season sweet corn over the weekend. Not quite those yummy berries you get for cheap, but there’s nothing like fresh, Iowa sweetcorn!
Comment by Tammy
July 10, 2007 @ 11:58 am
Hi Belle,
I understand what you mean about not growing up with biases. And it is true that so much of what was fought for in the 60s and 70s still needs to be worked on. It makes me angry too. I stupidly thought people were mostly over it. I wouldn’t want to do high school again either.
Comment by Tammy
July 10, 2007 @ 12:04 pm
Hi Jean,
Polly’s room does look wonderful. My back has been protesting ever since so I am trying not to overdue it with the physical labor for a few days.
I agree with you that some people would look for another reason to segregate themselves. I think it’s sad and I am not sure why it’s true. Maybe people feel more comfortable hanging out with their “own kind” whatever that means.
Your corn sounds so good! I have been waiting for the price on corn to come down so that I can freeze a whole bunch. So far it is steady at 50 cents an ear. I am hoping it comes down in price soon. I love corn. If I ever get the large garden of my dreams planted corn will be at the top of my list.