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Swistle wrote a post about the worst Valentine’s gift being a single red rose, and it got me to thinking. Alex and I have been together for so many years that I can’t even remember all of the different holidays we’ve spent together. I remember our first Valentine’s Day living together because we pooled our money together; bought an eight ball of cocaine and a pack of cigarettes, rushed home, dumped some of it out, and chopped out four fat lines, two for each of us. After we had each snorted one Alex looked at me over the mirror we reserved for such purposes and said, “I’m sorry I didn’t have any money left over to get you some flowers or something.” I said I didn’t care and I meant it. Cocaine or crank were the only things I wanted those days, as well as pot and alcohol to help me come down. We had bonded over pharmaceuticals. That would also be the last time we used cocaine, ever. When we ran out and started to get sick we made a vow to each other and to ourselves to never do it again. We held each other through the withdrawals. He hadn’t eaten in so many days that I cooked him cream of rice cereal, thinking he might be able to tolerate it, and he didn’t even complain about the lumps. He peeled me an orange and fed it to me, tiny segments at a time that seemed so dry in my mouth, telling me he was going to watch to make sure I ate every bite.

As the years went by we sometimes had lots of money to splurge on each other and other years Alex picked flowers out of our garden and placed them in a vase on the mantle, way up so the kids wouldn’t grab them. There were years of sex toy gifts for me, followed by hours in bed, and years when one or both of us had to work, and we barely had time for a rushed “Happy Valentine’s Day” and a quick kiss as we passed off the child watching responsibilities.

Looking back today and wondering about the worst valentine’s gift and what it might be, I thought that receiving a bathroom scale would suck pretty hard. Then it occurred to me, a valentine’s day I had forgotten about. I was visiting my sister Maria. Nathan was just a babe in my arms, so it must have been the early 90s. Maria’s boyfriend knocked on her apartment door and when she opened it, there he stood with a beautiful bouquet of a dozen red roses surrounded in a halo of baby’s breath. My sister’s face was overcome with joy as she reached her arms out. I don’t think she’d ever received flowers from a man before and I felt so happy watching her. Before she could take them in her arms he pulled away, reached into the bouquet, pulled out one single rose and handed it to her. “The other eleven are for my other special lady friends”, he explained. Maria kept her composure until the door was closed. She was absolutely crushed. She had truly believed that she had this very special relationship, this special bond that existed between just the two of them, and she found out in a horrible way that she was one of twelve. Maybe Swistle was right about the single red rose as a gift.

P.S. Off topic completely, but where would you guys like for me to respond to comments? In the comments, or in the next post? I am not sure if everyone comes back and reads the comments and I want to reply but then sometimes life gets in the way and I don’t get around to it for a day or two and then I feel guilty. Damn Tammy, raised Catholic much?

 

' February 14th, 2008 at 04:40pm

7 Comments »

  • 1
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    Comment by Shelly

    February 14, 2008 @ 5:59 pm

    OMG, that is the worst Valentine’s Day story I have ever heard. Your poor sister. & that guy - what kind of a husband do you suppose he made someone? Maybe he’s still single and wondering why!

    As to the comments, I’d say answer them in your comments section. If it’s important enough people will come back to find your response.

  • 2
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    Comment by Belle

    February 14, 2008 @ 6:44 pm

    Ooh, my heart fell with a thud at the end of that story. I hope poor sis didn’t give him the time of day after that.

    I also say answering the comments in the same section if just fine. It keeps everything together that way. Plus, Tammy? I think it’s absolutely fabulous that you take the time to respond to comments. So many bloggers/journalists don’t bother to answer and that feels way wrong.

  • 3
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    Comment by cynthea

    February 14, 2008 @ 8:40 pm

    I, also, think it’s beyond fabulous that you talk back to us. I have no problem going back to see if you’ve commented back to me, so replying in the comments section works fine for me. That’s my official vote.

    Maybe one day we’ll all get carried away and email you.

  • 4
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    Comment by Thursday

    February 15, 2008 @ 4:32 am

    I too think the comments bit for responding is fine. Great post but then, yours always are.

  • 5
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    Comment by Erin

    February 15, 2008 @ 10:42 am

    Poor Maria! That really sucks. My ex-boyfriend gave me a hamster for Valentine’s day. It had red eyes and creeped me out but I was stuck taking care of it.

  • 6
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    Comment by Tammy

    February 15, 2008 @ 1:19 pm

    Thanks for commenting Shelly, Belle, Cynthea, Thursday, and Erin,
    I will continue to answer in the comments. I can’t imagine not responding to readers. Without readers this is just me with a pen and a pad of paper at home alone. I have done that for years already. Time to air the sheets.
    Maria did dump the asshole boyfriend, but then she went through a weird few months when she kept running into him everywhere. It was horrible for her. He ended up writing her years later, testing the waters, so to speak. By then she was happily married and we looked back and laughed. He had fathered children, but had no woman (surprise there, eh?)
    Erin, I am sorry, I laughed about the hamster. I can picture it. I would say write the story of the hamster right away. I want to read it.
    Take care, everyone… Tammy

  • 7
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    Comment by Erin

    February 15, 2008 @ 2:10 pm

    Hi Tammy-

    Here is the story of the hamster: I guess it is all my fault in a way. We were visiting my friend at the University of Massachusetts and had been drinking and I was high as well, and I saw a hamster and told him I wanted one. But that was a big drunk lie! He should have known better! ;) So he went to Building 19, which is this store where you can get anything you can think of, and bought me an albino hamster named Fluff. Of course it was like Robo-Hamster and lived for a really long time!

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