The remains of the former brewery, Henry Weinhards, that they tore down to “revitalize the Pearl District”, here in downtown Portland. Certain parts of that brewery are on the historic registrair, so they were required to leave them.
My cousin has moved from Australia to LA. He flew up last weekend for a visit and took my son Nathan back down with him Tuesday. Nathan will be spending a week there and from what I’ve heard from him he is loving California and wishing we would move down there. Even though I spent a great deal of time preparing for Nathan to leave I was still in a panicked rush the morning of his departure. I realized that I hadn’t really been properly preparing; I had just been worrying. I have never been able to turn off that part of me, the part that can never seem to calm down enough to enjoy the now and to stop spending so much time fretting. I had several moments of sadness over my son leaving, although I knew he would have a lot of fun and would be well taken care of. There’s just something about him being 16 and knowing that his life plans don’t include living here with us forever.
Polly is fine. She has started the full fledged whining about boredom now that August has arrived. I found some sites online where she could practice Algebra as that is the subject she struggles with and she actually did homework, in the summer. I have tried hard to organize activities for her to keep her busy but it’s never enough. I don’t remember my mom entertaining us as children; that was our job.
Tina asked about how I deal with the fact that I don’t drive and the subsequent questions. I will write more about that later, but those of you who suffer from anxiety issues and/or depression please remember what it took me too many years to learn: Your accomplishments may be different from other peoples, but they are accomplishments nonetheless. I went from having a case of agoraphobia so severe that I couldn’t check the mail because it seemed impossible to be able to open the front door to slip my hand in the mailbox. Now I am holding down a full time job and traveling around Portland by bus no problem. Never give up hope and keep trying.
I need to catch some sleep before I work tonight so I’ll head bed ways and try not to feel bad about the fact that I can’t spend as much time here writing as I want to, and the fact that I am behind on my email . Please know I am reading your comments and emails and they all mean a lot to me.
Comment by cazza
August 8, 2008 @ 1:29 am
I don’t give a hoot what people say about the joy of your kids leaving home … it hurts. Two of mine have flown the nest and the youngest is staying with the oldest whilst we move. The pain! I am thrilled that we have raised three responsible (usually), mature, independent, loving, friendly (etc etc etc) young adults BUT I WANT MY BABIES BACK.
Thank you for your observation on accomplishment. It’s just what I need right now.
Don’t feel bad that you don’t write as much as you (and we!) would like. Just don’t stop altogether!!
Comment by Tammy
August 8, 2008 @ 10:21 am
Hi Cazza,
Funny you should say that, because I had considered stopping my writing here because it’s not the quantity nor the quality I wish for but I had to remind myself I am just doing my best, and I can’t ask anymore of myself.
Good luck with your move. I know how stressful it all is.
I want my babies back too sometimes, and mine are 16 and 13. They are just so busy with their own lives now, which is great, but I am not going to pretend that it doesn’t hurt.
Take Care Of Yourself!
Tammy
Comment by Josh
August 14, 2008 @ 3:18 pm
Hey I had some wicked depression for a long time, compounded by alcoholism, and that was a bitch to get over, but everything worked out alrightish in the end. Nothin to it but to do it. I just try not to fuck up the same way twice. Or at least twice a day, since to be honest I tend to learn through many, many repetitions of the same error. And I feel your pain on not writing enough. I have my one blog, then my woman started a co-authored blog about relationships or some such brouhaha that I try and contribute to whenever I get tickled by the muse and happen to have some spare time. Between the two, plus clumsily attempting to educate myself in the voodoo of photoshop, plus working full time, plus keeping my life in something resembling order, plus taking care of a long distance relationship, and somewhere trying to have one of them lives everyone keeps raving about … I get a bit overstretched at times. But it’s all good. You post when you can post and you take care of business when you need to take care of business. It’s just a fancy electronic diary/soapbox really.
Comment by hannah
August 21, 2008 @ 11:21 am
I just found your blog from a link from Plain-Jane, and I found it very compelling. I don’t have much to say other than that - but I wanted you to know that I’m looking forward to your next entry.
Comment by la
August 21, 2008 @ 2:28 pm
Hi Tammy, have you seen this dessert blog? I saw it and thought you’d like it.
Comment by la
August 21, 2008 @ 2:28 pm
^this