I miss writing here. I miss my readers. I miss being able to answer every comment, every email. I miss keeping up with the blogs I love. I miss my family.

Work is still a hellish mess. In fact, I will be returning to that kitchen to bake more shortly. I have come to the conclusion that if two of my coworkers drank  56 pints of beer on the clock and were still there when the head manager and executive chef arrived they were celebrating the fact that they were planning on quitting anyway. There are cameras everywhere at my work. When the tapes were played and the amount of beer consumed was brought to light I must admit I was impressed not only by their ability to consume so much beer and still bake well over the amount of bread required for the next day but also by the fact that they had the liquid balls to tell the executive chef exactly what they thought of him. Had I not been off on the now legendary night things never would have gotten so far out of hand and I am certain that I would have gotten them out  the door before the arrival of anyone else. The bottom line is they made a decision and I am not responsible for the actions of two grown men. I do miss them both as we had developed a close rapport as coworkers. On the night shift with a small crew it is wonderful if I am surrounded by people I feel comfortable with. I can only hope I can develop that type of relationship with the freshly hired faces who will soon be heading through the doors.

I have been working an extreme quantity of hours. I had Monday night off, at long last a respite. Monday afternoon as I made my way home I stopped at a liquor store and purchased two bottles of scotch. I gave one to Alex and set the other aside for later. After a nap I awoke and looking forward to a night with my husband I drank from that bottle. We snuggled in the bed together and caught up on TV shows, Californication, Weeds, Dexter. I continued to pour by the light of the screen. I was very thirsty apparently because I drank an entire fifth alone. Alex, realizing that I had gone way too far, cooked me potato and tofu burritos and kindly filled my alcohol soaked stomach. As the room started to spin, he stayed by my side. Throughout my brief naps he brought water to my lips to ward off the oncoming dehydration. Fortunately both of our children were asleep and did not see me in that condition. I had been doing such a good job staying sober up until that night. I made a mistake. More important than the consequence of the hangover I have right now is the feeling of disappointment I feel today. I slipped and here I am, getting back up.

I need to get ready for work now. I have no idea what my schedule looks like for this week. I will try to check in here more often. Please know that I do read every comment and email and I appreciate you all.