“Dying is easy it’s living that scares me to death.” Annie Lennox -Cold
I am still in treatment, although not with anyone who can act as if he cares as well as Gabriel Bryne does; I am doing better some days, worse other days. It’s frustrating and it is always in my mind that I should be able to work, that sitting around in a hospital doing what I have started to refer to as going to college feels incredibly selfish at times. Now, feelings aren’t facts. I do know that much. But what do I have left?
I shall continue. I wanted to say thank you again for the love and support I have received from you all. I know I owe some emails and I will as soon as I can. Tomorrow there is a Farmer’s Market not a long walk from my house. I am going to try to go, and let that be OK. Just the trying.
I baked at home yesterday and it was lots of fun. I made a large rhubarb coffee cake and two loaves of rye bread. It’s been awhile since I really felt like baking at home. I am still planting seeds in my garden. Several people have said it’s too late but whatever. I have been finding seed packets around the house as I try to clean and get more organized and I don’t care if they’re expired. They grow, or they don’t grow. I’m fine either way.
' June 14th, 2009 at 01:45am 3 comments
Something about the random seeds made me smile. And smile again and again!
It’s never too late. You are brave. You are growing. It ain’t easy. But damn, think of the pretty flowers you’ll get, even if there are some duds and weeds to discard along the way.
The man who has been hanging in there with me during some personal struggles over the past few months just sent me this in an email a couple of days ago. I dunno, perhaps it will resonate with you, too.
“If there is no struggle there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom and yet depreciate agitation…want crops without plowing up the ground, they want rain without thunder and lightening. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters…. Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will.”
- Frederick Douglass, 1857
So glad to hear from you. Seeds are little pieces of hope – no matter when you plant them, you hope for the best. Thinking of you, missy!!
Happy to see a post from you ! Yes, the “trying” is very important and worthy of praise. Keep plugging away, my dear, and I am still thinking of you and sending best wishes your way.