A Bit Better

Thanks everyone. You are wonderful, all of you. I am feeling better. There was only the option of going even lower than I was when I wrote that last post, and I’ve been there and hope to never return, or getting better, and I managed to pull myself up to functional. My Doctor added a new med after my appointment with him on Monday. Right now I just feel tired, but I am no longer suicidal. I don’t think I’ve often spoke here about my suicidal ideation. I know what suicide does to those left behind, but it still exists inside my head as a plan B, or C, or D… I am still working on trying to stop that.

I just wanted to check in in case anyone was worried. Today was Polly’s 1st day of high school so she wants to whine about how much she hates it and Nathan got a PT job at a pizza place, so he is at the hospital right now taking a UA. I asked him if he was going to pass, just in case, and he laughed and said he hasn’t smoked pot in years. WTF? He’s 17. I think he was joking with me. Anyway, you have to pee clean to make pizza. I am proud of him for getting the job. He has been looking for a while and was starting to get down. Unemployment is around 12% here so it’s tough.

I’m off to get dinner started and really, thank you all again. It meant a lot to read your comments.