Ten Minutes On The Train: An Exercise In Words

' October 28th, 2009 at 11:19pm 14 comments

1 Cork October 28, 2009 at 11:59 pm

This is a beautiful poem, Sarah! From a deep place. Parts of it give me chills – well done!

2 Tammy October 29, 2009 at 12:27 am

Thank you Cork. If you hadn’t commented I probably would have deleted it before the night dreamers awoke. I know it’s not anywhere near as good as your work,but you do inspire me.
I had to leave the house today and I was having really bad panic attacks. On the train I pulled out the trusty paper and ink I carry in my purse and just wrote without stopping.When I got home I got busy with kids,homework,dog,dishes. When the house finally settled I pulled it back out, read it, and thought,why not?I’m glad that you are here.It’s been over ten years now since we first shook hands online.Life amazes.

3 Jean October 29, 2009 at 9:24 am

Wow. Amazing. Absolutely amazing. So this was a ’stream of conciousness’ writing exercise?

You. Are. Amazing.

4 Jean October 29, 2009 at 9:24 am

Who’s Sarah?

5 Cork October 29, 2009 at 12:26 pm

WHO’S SARAH?

She is short-of-breath so many moments
She takes out her eyes and washes them
as if they were fruit.
Her mind is crowded with words.
She picks them like grapes.
She breaks their juice into your mouth.

6 Cork October 29, 2009 at 12:28 pm

Sarah is her nom de plume.

7 Thursday October 29, 2009 at 2:16 pm

Your words are a garden full of wonder.

8 Tammy October 29, 2009 at 6:59 pm

Yes, a stream of consciousness writing exercise. I do a lot of them with paper and pen but most of them just sit around here on my messy side of the desk.
“Who’s Sarah?” should be the subject of my next post. Cork is correct that it is my nom de plume, but she is also my alter ego, my nemesis, my voice at times, my doppelganger, my sidekick, my best friend and my bitter rival. I don’t believe that I gave birth to her; I believe that she was born with me. I did however name her, and the night when I gave her her name, both first and last, would be a post in and of itself.
Thanks for your kind words.

9 Tammy October 29, 2009 at 7:01 pm

I’m still rubbing sleep weary eyes and you’re already bringing me to my knees. Thank you.

10 Tammy October 29, 2009 at 7:03 pm

Thank you Thursday. I’m trying to write here with less fear and with minimal thoughts of the outcome. I just need to write; it’s one of the few things I really know.

11 Cork November 10, 2009 at 5:43 am

Tap, tap, tapping my fingers. Waiting for “Who’s Sarah?”

12 Tammy November 10, 2009 at 1:20 pm

Who’s Sarah? would be a book, and it’s still unfolding in my mind. The night Sarah got her name would be a post. I’ll try to write it today. Meanwhile, check out
http://www.livedtotell.com/2009/04/08/surrender/
That’s totally written by Sarah, and I turned so many readers off with what I wrote that half of them never returned. I’d love to hear your feedback.

13 Cork November 11, 2009 at 2:19 am

Your writing is full-throated and rich. You stalk through the story like a panther through the grass. I feel you crouching. Licking your paws. Then your ears, alert – wait, is that a reader come stamping through the grass?

Very well done, Sarah. You write on a professional level in my opinion.

14 Cork November 11, 2009 at 5:59 am

I like that you “say it as it is”, also. It’s seamless, also – flawless execution. As the writer you never get in the way of the story, with a word or phrase that doesn’t fit, or an out of place thought. It just flows, which is really difficult to achieve, IMO.