“We are stardust, we are golden,
We are billion year old carbon,
And we got to get ourselves back to the garden.”
Joni Mitchell
I highly recommend the gardening method set forth by Mel Bartholomew. In addition to the aforementioned website, his book is available on Amazon. When we first bought this house, I had visions of turning the backyard into a beautiful garden. After struggling with the rockiest, crappiest soil I have ever encountered in my life, I was ready to give up. Using the square foot method I was able to grow herbs and vegetables without breaking my back. I only wish I’d known about it sooner.
For those who want to garden but think they can’t with no yard, I recommend The Bountiful Container. Even if you just have room for one pot this book can help you learn to grow some of your own food. I know that I personally find gardening to be extremely therapeutic.
A lot of people have asked me how I manage to get my children to eat so many vegetables. One of the things I’ve done has been involving them in the process of selecting seeds or starts and planting their own food. Something about the tending of their very own plants helps to encourage them to eat vegetables. I also allow both of them to be a part of the selection process in the produce department and before meal times. Now that they are older I am teaching them to cook. Even as they struggle with some of the more complex procedures I try hard to encourage them. When they make something all by themselves they are very proud, even my fifteen year old son, who has no trouble putting on an apron and joining me in the kitchen.
One more thing, don’t be afraid to continue to serve things that your kids have previously said that they hate. Sometimes it takes numerous attempts before they become accustomed to a new food.
Oh, and if you can, start when they are very young. I feel as a mother that food battles are not something I choose to have in my house. There have been times when my kids have refused to eat, or when they have declared that they will only each such and such… When they were small we had a policy that they had to at least try one bite. Now that they are older (12 and 15) I don’t push food issues. I try to keep the house stocked with healthy foods and sometimes treats and remember that they will not starve to death.
Summer is going well so far. I had forgotten how much more food our kids seem to consume when they’re off school. It seems as if they were born with hollow legs. Also, Polly has been having friends spend the night, and the addition of a few more mouths to feed has made it always time to run to the store. I have been hitting the farmer’s markets this year, as well as a store that I found quite by accident that sells items directly from farmers, resulting in huge savings. With the plan to freeze a lot, I went a little crazy. They had these huge bags of red and green peppers for sale for $2.99 per bag. I had planned to roast some, and then maybe make stuffed peppers. I ended up chopping a whole bunch to freeze so they wouldn’t go bad. Add to that chore the vast quantity of Oregon berries I just had to buy, by the flat, of course, and I have been spending a lot of time in the kitchen. Oregon strawberries are so good that I couldn’t resist. They are so sweet and juicy that they really put the California berries I had been buying to shame. I wanted to stock up, but with all of these kids to feed and the possibilities of numerous desserts, not to mention just plain snacking, and it doesn’t look as if they will be lasting as long as I had hoped. Maybe I should buy some more before the season ends. Alex and I talked it over and decided to buy a food processor. I had a blister on my hand from all of the chopping, so my “yes” vote was admittedly biased. It arrived today from Amazon and I haven’t tried it out yet. Alex mentioned that if we had more tomatoes he could whip up a batch of salsa, but I don’t want to go to the store again.
My Mom bought a house so she is very stressed right now. She closes in less than 30 days. It is a nice ranch style, three bedroom, 2 bathrooms with an attached garage and a beautiful yard. It is about 15 minutes from my house by car, but it’s walking distance to my sister Maria’s house, so at least we won’t have as much worry with her being so far away from family as she is now. I know that her tastes run more to the large 2 or 3 story Victorian style houses she has always been drawn to, but I convinced her that a one level house would be easier for her, especially in the years to come. She already has one artificial knee and her doctor has said it is only a matter of time before she needs to have the other knee done and also a hip. She just can’t have all of those stairs to deal with. I reminded her that she promised to pay someone to move her so I am secretly hoping she doesn’t even ask me. Why can’t my mom like rattan furniture? It’s so light.
Not much else going on here. We have decided to send Nathan back to high school in the fall. He needs the social interaction and I am not the best home schooler in the world. Trying to get a 15 year old with ADHD to study is hell. I did manage to get him to read a few books though, and I am happy to report he is now reading for pleasure. He even asked me to take him to Powell’s book store the other day and I almost passed out. Polly was mad that I was so excited because she is always asking me to take her to Powell’s, but Nathan has willingly read a book in years.
My camera is still in the shop and I am starting to get pissed. I want it back! Alex asked me if they had sent it to Japan when they told me they were shipping it out to be repaired to keep costs more economical and I had to admit that I hadn’t asked them.
We are going to the beach for five days next week and I am looking forward to getting out of town, even if it does mean shaving parts of my body that usually go neglected.
We had a barbecue today, complete with guests, in honor of father’s day. Alex had to work all weekend last week so we celebrated today. I of course got very nervous and made too much food and worried too much, but I ended up calming down in time to relax and enjoy my family. It was a very good day and I am very tired now. Polly has a friend spending the night and it is nice to hear them giggling together in her room. I made this potato salad today that I found on epicurious. com. You can serve it warm or cold. I didn’t bother soaking the onions and I used Baby red potatoes because that’s what I had. They didn’t need to be peeled. I also added extra lemon juice and dill because I like to play around with things. It was a big hit.
WARM POTATO SALAD WITH LEMON AND DILL
Soaking the red onion in cold water mellows its strong flavor.
Active time: 15 min Start to finish: 40 min
2 lb small yellow-fleshed potatoes such as Yukon Gold
1 small red onion, finely chopped (1/3 cup)
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup sour cream
1/3 cup mayonnaise
1/4 cup chopped fresh dill
Cover potatoes with salted cold water by 1 inch and bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer, uncovered, until potatoes are tender, 15 to 20 minutes. Reserve 1/4 cup cooking water, then drain potatoes in a colander.
While potatoes are boiling, soak onion in cold water 15 minutes, then drain in a sieve and pat dry.
When potatoes are just cool enough to handle, peel and quarter, then toss with lemon juice and salt in a large bowl.
Whisk together onion, sour cream, mayonnaise, dill, and reserved cooking water in a bowl until blended. Whisk in salt and pepper to taste, then add to potatoes and toss to coat. Serve warm.
Makes 4 to 6 servings.
When the blackness descends I have to remind myself that I will pull out of this; that this is, in fact, the reason why I wake up each day and swallow a handful of pills. I am feeling way down and dragging through the motions. Feed the cats. Feed the kids. Load the dishwasher. Fold the clothes. Notice that we are low on milk. Walk to the store. I almost got hit by a car on the way. The driver puts his head out the car window and yells, “Nice tits.” I raise my hand to flip him off, but it’s too much effort, so I drop my arm back by my side. This whole right turn on red thing here drives me mad. The cars don’t even stop; they just speed around the turn. I used to think I would surely die in this fashion and I made an effort to make eye contact with every driver who came thisclose to hitting me. I don’t know what good it would do but I had an idea that at least if they looked into my eyes… Maybe I was planning to haunt them.
At times like this Alex asks me what’s wrong; tells me that I am acting weird. I shrug, say nothing. There’s no way to describe it, really, unless someone’s lived it. I once heard it (depression) described as trying to run in jello. My Mom had given me some article she had saved from Reader’s Digest. I couldn’t finish it. I liken it more to sinking in quicksand. I had a phobia of quicksand when I was a little girl. My brother and I saw some movie; I can’t remember the name of it, where someone drowned in quicksand while helpful people on the edge tried to hold out sticks and ropes to pull him out. After I asked my older, all knowing brother if quicksand was real, I asked him where it was. “Oh, it’s everywhere. You just never know when you’re going to fall in.”
“Does it suck you down fast?” I asked trembling. “Very fast”, he said, “once you fall in there’s zero chance you’ll get out.” I think he was right. While other kids were joyfully splashing in puddles I was walking all the way around them, just in case. Because you never know. It’s everywhere.
My Mom and I went out to lunch on Thursday. I really love her for coming to get me out of this house sometimes. We went to a restaurant my brother loves and eats at frequently. Everything on the menu is vegetarian or vegan so he recommended that I go there, certain that I would love it. I didn’t realize that my Mom was going to create a big scene when we walked in the door, announcing that I was Matthew’s sister! The staff told me that I had to sit at the table my brother ate at. They joked that they were considering putting his name on it. It was right in front of the window. I would have chosen the one way in the back, in the corner, but no matter. It was all worth it listening to my Mom try to pronounce hummus, tempeh, tabouli, and tofu. Poor lady, she had no idea what to order. I had to talk her through it. I ended up getting a vegetarian Reuben. It had the most delicious dressing on it that kept running down my hands and tempting me to lick my fingers, but I resisted the urge and used my napkin. My brother was right. The food there is great, affordable, and the portions are huge.
Afterwards my Mom went to some camera shop she had heard printed photos from very old black and white negatives and I sat on a park bench and smoked a cigarette, watching the people walk by. I know very little about North Portland. When I was younger it was a predominantly black neighborhood with a lot of beautiful old houses, most of them very run down. It was considered dangerous for whites to venture that far north. I went over there on the bus with an ex-boyfriend who happened to be sporting blue hair at the time. It was the 80s. A group of guys tried to pick a fight with him as soon as we got off the bus. Realizing it was hopeless to try and talk his way out of the fight he ended up grabbing my hand and we ran. We ran until we came upon another bus and after we jumped up the stairs the driver looked at us and said, “What the hell are you two doing in this neighborhood?” Truthfully, we had been using the bus as a place to make out and we didn’t realize how far into what was then referred to as the ghetto we had gotten until the bus screeched to a halt and it was the end of the line.
My brother bought his house over there before it became trendy. Now I don’t even recognize North Portland.
I wandered into a bookstore. Every so often I’ll say something to Alex like, “I saw the funniest thing today. I wished that I’d had a camera so I could have taken a picture of it.” He will sigh and remind me that I always have a camera on me. It’s called a cell phone. I always forget about its picture taking ability. My Mom joined me in the bookstore, stating that she knew I would end up in there. “Leave Tammy alone somewhere and she’ll always find her way to the nearest bookstore.” I didn’t tell her that the first place I had considered walking into had been the dark looking little dive bar across the street, followed by the coffee shop, before I settled on the bookstore.
As I walked around I saw so many books that I wanted to read. Just about everything was full price and I like to buy my books used or get them from the library, so remembering my cell phone at long last I pulled it out and snapped photos of the titles that interested me so that I could add them to the list of books to read I have at home. I was proud of myself for thinking of it until my Mom started following me around and offering to buy me every book I took a picture of. I realized she was embarrassed by my behavior. I found an Anne Tyler book I haven’t read in the dollar bin and bought that.
My camera is in the shop being fixed so ya’ll are stuck looking at headshots of me taken on the same day. Only the expressions change, but I managed to not smile for any of them. Before I took my camera in I asked Alex what I should say was wrong with it. “You’re paying them to tell you what’s wrong with it.” He replied. So off I went to the shop, set in down on the counter, and told the woman I wanted to have my camera fixed. “What’s wrong with it?” she asked. I knew it! Arghhhh. When I got home I told Alex in that “I told you so” tone of voice and he said didn’t you tell them about the whatchimacallit and the whosit and the whatsit? I didn’t understand a word he was talking about. I just nodded yes. Of course I had told them. I can’t wait until it’s done.
I feel better having typed this out. I feel good enough to curl up on the couch and to take a little nap for maybe an hour or so.
I baked brioche this weekend and it turned out wonderfully. Here is the recipe. I found it at http://www.kingarthurflour.com/
I have never had a problem with any of the products I’ve ordered from them or with any of the recipes.
Classic Brioche
This egg- and butter-rich bread is delightfully tender. We love to use this dough for shaped and filled sweet breads.
Dough
2 3/4 cups (11 3/4 ounces) King Arthur Unbleached All-Purpose Flour
1/4 cup (1 1/4 ounces) dried whole milk or Baker’s Special Dry Milk
3 tablespoons (1 1/4 ounces) sugar
1 1/4 teaspoons salt
1 tablespoon instant yeast
3 large eggs
1/4 cup (2 ounces) water
10 tablespoons (1 1/4 sticks, 5 ounces) butter, soft but not melted or warm
1/2 cup (3 ounces) mini chocolate chips, optional (not Classic, but good)
Egg wash
1 egg beaten with 2 tablespoons water
In a stand mixer or bread machine (programmed for dough), mix together all of the ingredients (except the chocolate chips and egg wash) to form a smooth, shiny dough. Don’t worry; what starts out as a sticky mess becomes beautifully satiny as it kneads. This dough takes longer than most to develop, so be prepared to let the dough knead for up to 20 minutes in a stand mixer. Also, we don’t recommend trying to knead it by hand. If you’re using a bread machine, let it complete its kneading cycle, then continue as directed below. Gently mix the chocolate chips into the fully developed dough. Form the dough into a ball (it’ll be very soft), place it in a greased bowl, cover the bowl, and it let rise for 1 hour. Then refrigerate the dough for several hours, or overnight. This will slow the fermentation and chill the butter, making the dough easier to shape.
Divide the chilled dough into 12 pieces to make mini-brioches*, or leave it whole for one large round brioche or a 9 x 5-inch loaf. Place the dough into the greased pan(s) of your choice, cover lightly, and let rise for 2 1/2 to 3 hours, until it’s doubled and looks very puffy. Brush the brioche with thoroughly with the egg wash just before baking.
To bake a large brioche (round or 9x 5-inch loaf): Place the pan into a preheated 425°F oven. After 10 minutes, reduce the oven heat to 350°F and bake for about 30 to 35 minutes more. Check the brioche after 15 minutes; tent with aluminum foil if it appears to be browning too quickly. Brioche should be a deep, shiny brown when done, and should sound hollow when tapped. (It’s easy to underbake, since it browns so quickly!) Remove the brioche from the oven, and after 10 minutes remove it from the pan to cool completely on a wire rack.
To bake the mini brioches: Place the pan(s) into a preheated 375%deg;F oven and bake for 14 to 16 minutes (tent after 10 minutes if they’re browning too quickly). Remove from the oven, let stand for 5 minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack.
Slice and serve plain, toasted, or with preserves or butter. It also makes wonderful French toast.
Yield: 1 loaf or 12 mini-brioches.
*If you are using a 6-cup silicone mini brioche pan, you can keep half the dough refrigerated to bake the next day. Or, go ahead and shape all 12 pieces. Place the extra 6 pieces in a lightly greased 8 to 9-inch cake pan, cover, and let rise (in a slightly cooler location if possible). When you’ve finished baking the first batch (in the silicone pan), turn them out, let the pan stand for about 5 minutes to cool, then carefully transfer the 2nd batch into the pan (no need to grease it again). Let stand for 15 to 20 minutes (to let them recover from the transfer), then bake.
©2006 The King Arthur Flour Company, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
I can’t seem to get into the Christmas vibe this year and I couldn’t figure out why. I realized this morning that this is the first Christmas that Nathan hasn’t been at all excited. He doesn’t want gifts, just money. He hasn’t been peeking around under the tree like Polly. He just seems so down. Before we had children we never really celebrated the holidays, but after we had children they quickly became our reason for celebrating everything.
I am going to whip up a batch of these cookies that Nathan used to look forward to every year. The kids might just come out of their rooms and help me cut them out. If not, at least I tried. The recipe was given to me by an online acquaintance years ago and quickly became a holiday ritual. If you try them, enjoy. They’re very good.
I tint the icing different colors for extra decorating fun.
Sugar Cookies
If you want them crisp, as my mother does, roll them thin and cook them longer (watching closely for too much browning!)
For a softer, chewier cookie, roll them thicker, and cook them less, taking them out before they even get golden.
Experiment a bit to get them the way that you want them.
ROLLED SUGAR COOKIES
1 CUP BUTTER
1 ½ CUPS SUGAR
2 EGGS
1 TEASPOON VANILLA (I use about 2 tablespoons)
4 ½ CUPS ALL-PURPOSE FLOUR
1 TEASPOON BAKING SODA
Beat butter & sugar at medium speed until fluffy.
Add eggs and vanilla.
Beat until blended.
Sift baking soda into flour, stir, add to butter mixture 1 cup at a time, beating at low speed after each addition.
Cover dough in plastic and refrigerate for 1 hour.
Preheat oven to 350º.
Roll out dough to about ¼ inch thick and cut into shapes.
Bake for 5 - 7 minutes or until cookie is JUST beginning to brown.
Let cool on cookie sheet for 1 minute before removing with a spatula. (They are delicate when warm.)
* Unsalted butter is best. * Twice as much vanilla (or more) is even better.
* If the dough is refrigerated for more than an hour it may need to soften for a while at room temp.
* You can always make this cookie dough a day or so in advance and make the cookies up when you have time.
Butter Icing for Cookies
2 cups confectioners’ sugar
2 tablespoons and 1-1/2
teaspoons cream
1/4 cup butter
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Directions
1. In a saucepan, over medium heat, heat cream and butter
until butter is melted. Stir in the vanilla and
confectioners’ sugar. Remove from heat, and beat with an electric
mixer until thick and smooth.
I was feeling all lazy tonight and so I made chili dogs for dinner (I make them with the tofu hotdogs. Shut up. They’re good.) and Nathan’s whole face lit up! “Wow! That sounds great!”
It reminds me of the time I bought dried mashed potatoes at the store because they were only 99 cents for a big old can and I figured I could do something with them. One night I was in a rush and looking for a side dish and I whipped them up .Polly looked at me over dinner and said, “These are the best mashed potatoes you’ve ever made!” Here I’ve been scrubbing and peeling and boiling…
I have had my hair cut and colored for the first time in years, soaked in a bathtub with a bath bomb, bought some new clothes because all of mine were ruined from painting and cleaning the house that shall not be named, bought new clogs off of EBay, and started reading for fun more often. I still feel a bit off, but I am trying to feel better about myself. The woman at the clothing store told me that I needed to be resized for a bra and I knew she was right, but after she’d flicked out the measuring tape like a whip from nowhere and trotted off to get me new bras she told me to try them on, bend over, and shake it like I worked for it. I was speechless and almost walked out of the store all together, but my Mom shook her head at me and pointed to the dressing room. I had a panic attack as I tried them on but I must admit, I look better with my breasts up a few notches and some clothes on that fit and aren’t stained.
I won’t even go on about the weather here because it ended up being a letdown with two kids hoping for snow that couldn’t be bothered to stick around. I want to know, what is the mysterious force that eats all of the scarves and hats and gloves every year, forcing me to go out and buy them over and over? At the end of the season I am going to lock them in a safe.
The Fixx
Reach the Beach
I miss that album. I am going to ask Alex if he can get it for me.
Thanksgiving was fine. We had a family dinner at my Mom’s Thursday with 20 people or so. My Mom ordered one of those complete meals from the grocery store, actually two of them, because she always fears not having enough food, and there was plenty of everything. I went over early to help her and we only had to pop holes in the plastic and slip the items into the oven and warm up the turkey and the ham. My kind of cooking, reheating. My brother showed up and my Mom was just glowing with happiness. My Mom was worried about having the meal in her new apartment but she did a great job cleaning the place up and stuffing all of the junk into the spare room and closing the door. I hugged my brother before we left and it felt good. He said “Happy Tofurkey Day” and smiled. I think that I can count the number of times we have hugged on one hand.
Yesterday I cooked Thanksgiving dinner for the kids and Alex and me. I spent 8 hours cooking and it took 15 minutes for people to eat. Then we watched a movie, Click, and all was good. It is getting harder and harder to find movies that the whole family wants to watch and that are appropriate for the kids.
I am supposed to be signing up for school but I feel frozen with fear. I haven’t told anyone how I feel. My sister said she is taking a class called “Sex Drugs and Rock and Roll” and she suggested I sign up too. I told her I could teach that class. Actually her college is all the way out on Oregon City and the last time that I took a class there I spent 3 hours there and back on the bus in the middle of Summer. That was a hard earned A, not because the class was hard, it was the getting there that killed me. I am going to stick close to home. I am tempted to take some sort of yoga class or Pilates because I have been having severe back pain again. My sister Maria is taking Thai Chi at the senior center and she said working out with older people is cool, because she doesn’t feel pressured.
Sorry this entry is so boring. I’m off to do more laundry.
I saw two men in the produce section, shopping. Man number 1 reached out and touched the pre-washed (?) bagged lettuce and turned to his shopping partner, “Is it safe to buy lettuce yet?”
“I don’t think so” answers his friend.
“I miss lettuce”, the first man says, loving caressing the bag like one might touch a long lost love.
Edited to add scary lettuce/spinach story http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12536902/